Taking a Break from Alcohol?
Try SWAP AF!*
In 2019 I decided to take a break from alcohol. In the beginning this was not for health reasons but to help me train for my first half marathon.
After doing 'Dry January' in the past, I thought that I would hate taking a break but the opposite was true AND my overall health improved! I realised that it was my perception (or my stories) around alcohol that had resulted in me not enjoying Dry January previously.
I enjoyed the break so much that almost five years later, I am still happily alcohol free. I now enjoy helping others who want to take a break do so without feeling like they're missing out.
SWAP AF is built on the principles of Cellf Health - it focuses on creating change from the inside out. What follows is a simplified version of the process I've used myself and with others.**
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S
STORIES
S is for Stories - our own and others.
If you want to take a break from alcohol, start by finding people living happily without alcohol whose stories inspire you. Maybe it's someone you know or someone you follow online - perhaps a famous actor/sports personality. Read their stories for inspiration and to give you positive examples of people living full and happy lives without alcohol.
How do these stories compare with your own stories around alcohol?
W
WHY
W is for Why?
This involves exploring our own stories and looking at our reasons for drinking and our reasons for taking a break. Are we drinking to celebrate, to manage stress, to accompany a meal, because it's been a good/bad day, because our favourite sport is on tv...? People have many reasons for drinking and if you want to take a break, it helps to understand what they are. Asking 'Why?' again is an interesting exercise and often people find that by asking themselves 'Why?' several times, they get to the root of why they drink alcohol in certain situations and where their stories come from.
Why do you want to take a break from alcohol? If your 'why' is negative (e.g. because when I drink on a Friday night, I can't be bothered to get up early and do my long run on Saturday morning.') rephrase it as a positive: 'So that I'm full of energy for my long, early morning runs.'
One of my associations was celebrations. In 2018 when I received the news that my MRI showed no new lesions and no evidence of disease activity, I celebrated with a glass of wine. In 2019, I chose to celebrate by going to the beach with my family and having a hot chocolate.
A
ASSOCIATIONS
A is for Associations.
Identifying our stories and reasons for drinking is important because it enables us to recognise our learned associations. If we associate drinking alcohol with reducing stress then we are likely to reach for it at the end of a stressful week. (There seems to be little consensus as to whether alcohol relieves or in fact causes stress but certainly I have found that I am much better at dealing with stress since I stopped drinking. One reason is probably that a glass of wine never actually dealt with whatever it was that was making me feel stressed and in reality just prolonged it as I delayed/avoided dealing with the cause. I also don't seem to get as stressed as I used to - my mood in general is a lot calmer/more consistent and I am much better at managing my emotions.)
Anyway, once we've identified our associations, the key is to create new associations and repeat them each time we would usually have an alcoholic drink. E.g. replace alcohol with something you find relaxing when stressed.
If, like me, you're not the world's greatest dancer and can't see yourself dancing the night away without a few alcoholic drinks, see 'F' below!
P
PLAN
P is for Plan.
The 'law' of the 7 Ps (sometimes 6!) states that proper planning & preparation (or prior planning) prevents p*** poor performance. Planning when to start your break, what to say when people ask you why you're not drinking alcohol (and what to say to your cellf) as well as what to drink instead will make the process much easier. Planning what to say is especially important here. The language we use is linked to both behaviour and emotion. Saying that we have 'given up' drinking alcohol suggests that we will be missing something; it's helpful instead to focus on what we're gaining (linked to your 'why'). Many programs involve taking a break for x number of days or for a month (e.g. 'Dry January'). This is the only part I advise people not to plan because just like our language, it can create negative associations and have a detrimental impact on our behaviour and emotions. For example, many people who choose to take a break from alcohol by doing 'Dry January' spend much of the month looking forward to February - this again creates a negative perception of taking a break from alcohol. By not setting a target, we can focus on how we feel in the present and focus on what we're gaining.
A
ACCEPTANCE
A is for Acceptance.
I think it was Carl Jung who first identified that what we resist persists. Most people who drink alcohol have done so for a while and as it is an addictive substance, you can find yourself in a position where despite making the decision to take a break from alcohol, you find that you want an alcoholic drink. This is very common - it's also how I learnt to control my emotions rather than letting them control me. A good analogy is being stuck in a riptide. Battling/swimming against the current to try to get back to shore will just drain your energy leaving you exhausted and at risk of drowning whereas by not resisting, we can find our way out by either swimming parallel to shore or letting the tide subside allowing us to signal for help. Similarly, by sitting with feelings/emotions instead of resisting them, you find that they do subside. (Meditation/breathing exercises can also help here.) Interestingly, when I stopped drinking alcohol, I found it much easier to connect with my cellf. I realised that I could sit with uncomfortable/painful emotions and this helped me to deal with issues I'd previously buried therefore freeing up more energy for healing. This didn't happen instantly for me and did take practice.
F
FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT!
F is for Fake it 'til you make it!
I mentioned associations earlier and when it came to New Year's Eve, I realised that apart from when I was pregnant, I'd always celebrated with alcohol. I was already used to socialising without alcohol - I never avoided social situations as why would I? Because I'd identified my stories, reasons and associations, I was aware that it was simply an association/story I'd created that socialising was somehow linked to alcohol. However, I realised that I felt really uncomfortable about dancing. I felt so uncomfortable that I considered having a glass of fizz to fit in. (As we were hosting a NYE party, I didn't really have a chance to sit with the feeling as described above.) I decided that I didn't actually want a drink and that I might as well just 'fake it' and behave as I would normally in this situation - dancing (well more like leaping around as I'm not the most coordinated dancer and have always had my own rhythm) and singing (or maybe yelling as I am also not yet a great singer). After a few minutes of feeling self conscious, I was soon having a brilliant time. I've since found that this is a good trick to use if ever I'm lacking confidence in any situation.
